Vered’s Blog

Courageous leadership is something that most people attach to daring to do things other will not do. However there is another way we can look at courage and courageous leadership.

Did you ever have a day, when anything you touched fell or broke?
A day when you truly believed that Murphy’s first law “If anything can go wrong, it willâ€? is your only reality?
A day that when it was over, you wished you didn’t bother to get up in the morning?

I’m sure you had a day like that. We all did.

For me - the last 2 weeks felt as if they were full of these days.

We gave 2 long trainings, while moving our office to a new building, emptying our training center and trying hard to keep our sanity. And although we thought we were prepared for everything… it still looked as if everything that could go wrong – actually DID:

1. We didn’t get the new office’s keys on time – which meant no new floor and painting of the new office, while emptying the old office and needing to store it all in a temporary storage.
2. Moving companies that preferred to follow their own internal, mysterious ways – instead of our mutual clear agreements – resulting in time wasted, stuff again in temporary storage and again delaying our entrance to the new office.
3. KPN took its time installing our phones and internet connection – which made our house look like a computer store. Computers, screens, laser printers, scanner, cables… trying to keep in touch with the world.
4. One of our internet servers in Arizona “died� and disabled essential functions of our websites. Many of you who wished to register to our events, order our products, download our e-books, or contact us… were faced with disturbing error messages.

This list goes on and on…
To be honest – there were a few nights last week, I lied in bed dreading what might go wrong tomorrow…

And then everything changed…

I asked myself simple questions: “what is the message?� and everything started to make sense. A pattern emerged.

I could see that some of my actions and decisions were wrong. I assumed too many things about people and took them for granted. I wasn’t listening close enough to what they were saying. The Universe was giving me clear messages that what I was doing is wrong, but I kept on refusing to listen. The Universe was kind to me and did not give me mighty notices before I realized the pattern, which I am grateful.

Sometimes the greatest leadership skill we need to develop is the courage to admit we were wrong. Courageous leadership means that we have the courage to take actions others are not willing to take. It also means willing to admit that we might have taken the wrong actions. The next step demands even higher courageous leadership and that is - willing to correct.

People would rather stay in a miserable situation than change and correct. They rather blame, complain and give a lot of excuses for the situation than take a different action and correct what is needed to correct.

Leadership means showing the way to people. Leadership means inspiring people to become the best they can by demonstrating it. Courageous leadership means that I am willing to show that “even” I can take the wrong decisions and once I am aware of it - correct it and take a different direction and change it.

So when you have one of those days - have the courage to stop, listen to the message, become aware of the pattern… and be courageous enough to CHANGE!

Have a great day!

I believe that the fastest way to grow is by modeling. No, not your usual Vogue or Cosmopolitan model concept of tall, thin walking sticks, but the modeling of someone that is successful already and learning from them how to do it.

That’s the way we all learned when we were young. Our parents said to us: say: “MA-MI” and we said: “MO-MO” and we kept on repeating until we finally said: “MA-MI” correctly. Same goes with walking, riding a bike, playing and actually anything that we’ve learned when we were young. That was the fastest way to learn. That is why we were able to master the most difficult tasks in life at such early age as 3-4 years old!

However as we grew up three small letters entered the equation E-G-O. Our ego! From there on we couldn’t allow ourselves to learn from someone else as immediately in our mind that was translated as if that person is better than us, which meant that we are less, or a failure. We’ve stopped than learning as fast as we can.

Once I’ve realized that I do not allow my ego (which sometimes is big) to interfere in my way of learning new skills, new ways and growing. When I see or read about someone that is successful, powerful or interesting I always go and see what can I learn from that person. I get inspired by them and learn from what they have accomplished and see what it is that I can improve and learn for my life.

I’ve always loved to read about inspiring people, people that shaped history, people that contributed to the world. These people show me and teach me things that I can also do, in my own small world, in my own small way, which can improve my life and the life of the people around me. That can be my small contribution to creating a better world.

As of next week I am going to devote once a week (or maybe more) a section to one of those women that I find inspiring. A woman that is for me a leadership model.

If you have women that were your leadership model, write to me and let us all know about those inspiring leaders.

Have a great day!

I took today a day off. After the hectic times we have experienced in the last 2 weeks (see my blog entry from October 10), I decided that Nisandeh and I deserve a day off to refill our batteries.

We took a whole day off, turned off our mobiles, got away from the computers and phones and went off to a great spa. The only decisions we had to take the whole day was, which sauna we should take next and what do I prefer: a Japanese massage or a Swedish massage. That was the hardest decisions we had to take for the whole day.

It was FUN!

We all need to take a day off from time to time. Actually God herself (or himself, if you prefer the traditional way) knew it all so well. After 6 days of working her ass of in creating the entire world, she decided to take a day off – which till today is called Sabbatical, or the traditional way (again) – Sabbath – Saturday!

What do you think the meaning of Saturday if not to give you a hint that it’s time to rest and relax? Time to rejuvenate and refill your batteries. If it was good for her/him, it surely be good enough for us.

When was the last time you took a day off, just for the fun of it? A day away from everything and just taking the time for yourself. For balanced life we all need those days. If you wish to create a balanced life for yourself make sure to schedule a few days a month that their sole purpose is simply… relaxing.

I had a great time today and I’m off to bed to complete this relaxing day with a full night sleep.

See you on the other side of the day.Have a great day!

 

October 26 should be marked on all women’s calendar as an important date to remember.

On October 26 1902 Elizabeth Cady Stanton passed away from this world. You might not have heard about her, but most women in the western world and especially in the United States are enjoying the freedom and respect due to this woman’s life work.

Elizabeth Stanton stands for me for the leadership quality of free thinking. Most of her life she has fought for equal rights for all humanity. From abolishing slavery to women’s rights, from rights to vote to property rights for married women, Stanton was the pioneer for the road to becoming equal in a society the took women for granted and tried to limit them to 2nd rate citizens. Stanton was the founding genius of the women’s rights movement, brilliant, insightful and eloquent. While Stanton is best known for her long contribution to the woman suffrage struggle, she was also active and effective in winning property rights for married women, equal guardianship of children, and liberalized divorce laws so that women could leave marriages that were often abusive of the wife, the children, and the economic health of the family.

Stanton had the leadership quality of freethinking. She was able to see beyond her own cultural conditions and recognize the injustice in any part of society that was suffering from abuse and restrictions. Her main goal was to liberate women, however in the way she did it she was also showing men a new way of thinking, a new paradigm for life and for that she was definitely a leader.

A leader has to be able to see beyond his or her own limitations of cultural and society conditions. Leadership qualities are many but one that stand above all – is the ability to be free in thinking and think “beyond the box�, beyond the normal way of doing things. Stanton is definitely a woman that was thinking outside the box.

For me she is a woman of bravery and vision in times that women were supposed to be silent and obedient, she was brave enough to challenge her generation and show them another way. Not only show them but carve that way for freedom for women. She used to say: “To me, there was no question so important as the emancipation of women from the dogmas of the past, political, religious, and social. It struck me as very remarkable that abolitionists, who felt so keenly the wrongs of the slave, should be so oblivious to the equal wrongs of their own mothers, wives, and sisters, when, according to the common law, both classes occupied a similar legal status.�

Let us remember this amazing powerful woman on October 26, let her legacy of free thinking and courage be a lighthouse to all of us. Think how can you develop your leadership quality of free thinking? Where can you contribute your leadership quality to bring more free thinking to your own community?

Have a wonderful day!

Yesterday I’ve seen a movie that I believe every person on this planet should see. It has to do with the future of this planet and with our moral obligation to our children.

The movie is: “An Inconvenient Truth� – If you care about this planet and you care about the world your children will live in, go out and find a close by cinema where this movie is playing and see it or get the DVD, invite friends and watch it.

The movie is about Al Gore mission to stop the global warming and get all of us aware to the danger of this phenomenon. No matter what your political view, this movie is not about a political issue; it is about a moral issue. In what condition are we going to leave this world to our children?

Al Gore, as shown in this movie, is a living example to the Feminine Leadership quality of global thinking. Not from the aspect of conquering the world, but taking care of the world. Realizing that we are all in it together and there could be no winners if only one side profits. Al Gore is demonstrating type of leadership style of values that are stemming from the concept and the feminine energy. This type of leadership is concerned with looking at things from a global look. It is a leadership type that their main concern is about the environment and the future of this planet.

If you wish to see how it looks like and how it feels to be around a person that lives it go and see “An Inconvenient Truth�

Have a great time!

 

I got a lot of responds to my last post. Women were asking me how come I am speaking in one breath about Feminine Leadership and mentioning Al Gore as a good example of Feminine Leadership?

The answer is very simple – Feminine Leadership is not about man or woman. It’s about cherishing and putting forward values and principles that were regarded as not important and bringing forward an energy that is called Feminine. It is about taking care, nourishing and preserving what is good. It is about teamwork and cooperation, about intuition, service and support. Most of all it is about looking for the bigger picture of things. Having a vision that encompasses the whole world and not just fragments of it. There are more values but those are the main ones that usually today are discarded and ignored in the busy business world.

One woman that has certainly done a lot in this field is Anita Roddick. Anita Roddick is a Transformational leader. She is the founder of The Body Shop, one of the world’s most successful retailers of cosmetics and related products. She is also known as one of the most outspoken social activists in the business world. The Body Shop’s Mission Statement sets out a dedication to the pursuit of social and environmental change. The shops and products help communicate human rights and environmental issues. Roddick has campaigned tireless against environmental and social wrongs around the world. As Anita Roddick puts it, “Businesses have the power to do good. That’s why The Body Shop’s Mission Statement opens with the overriding commitment, ‘To dedicate our business to the pursuit of social and environmental change.’ We use our stores and our products to help communicate human rights and environmental issues.â€?

Anita Roddick is an example how even in the business world values and taking care of the environment can bring to success. Transformational leaders give an example how things can be different. Anita Roddick is a living proof for the power of the Feminine energy and how it can be used in order to create change and success at the same time.

October 23rd is Anita Roddick’s birthday – we wish her many more years of leading and showing the world that business can be human. That business can become a leading factor in changing our world into a better place to live in. For me Anita Roddick will always represent the power of transformation and the power of care and nurturing.

Have a great Birthday Day Anita Roddick!

Magic and rituals have long been connected. There is magic in any ceremony that we do, whether it of a routine nature, such as making a wish on our birthday, or whether it is a sophisticated ritual involving all kinds of movements, lights and music. In both cases we are using the power of the ritual in order to create magic in our life.

An actual definition of magic is difficult. However, as Scott Cunningham states: “Magic is the projection of natural energies to produce needed effects.”

In other words, every time that we consciously connect to the universal energy in order to direct it to a specific result that we wish to manifest in our life, we are utilizing magic. In the same way, a child, focused on the light of the candle whilst making a wish, then blows it, thus releasing that energy into the universe. From that point it is manifested later as a physical object. Magic, therefore, is not an unnatural incidence; it is actually utilizing and therefore harnessing the power of nature.

Rituals are the tools by which we do so. The purpose of rituals is to demonstrate this connection between nature and its laws. Rituals are a reminder to us that we are an intricate part of this vast universe.
Ritual is the form and structure that enables our spirit to fly free. It is the safe space that allows us to open to the deepest part of ourselves. Ritual is the magic that you do for yourself.

As rituals are connected to nature, they are also connected to the changing of seasons, and the wheel of the year. October 31st is the day that has been marked for thousands of years as the beginning of winter.
It was called “Samhain”. Winter was interpreted as a “small death”, when the land is so visibly barren, the trees naked, and the animals in hibernation. Therefore it is associated with death and dying. However from that “death” life will re-emerge in the spring. This period was worshiped as a time of “going within” and contemplation, as in preparation for a new birth.

In many of the ancient traditions, Samhain was also a day in which the veil between this physical world and the world of the dead is the thinnest, and therefore a time associated with insights and ancient wisdom, a time to honor our ancestors and our loved ones that passed away.

Today’s Practice offers you a ritual to celebrate this date, this Sabbath called Samhain. This ritual is only a suggestion; you can use it as a framework and put in it all your creativity and joy, put your pleasure and fun, so it will become your magical ritual.

Prepare the Room
Clean and purify your room with incense or sage.
Decorate the room in the colors of autumn - red, orange, brown.
Create an altar and put on it four red candles in the different directions of the wind (east, south, west and north). Include the four elements - a center candle for fire, a chalice with water for the water element, a crystal for the earth element and wind chimes for the air element. Decorate it with falling leaves and fruits such as apples, pomegranates, and any fruits of this season.

Start with silent meditation - focus on the year that has passed and your achievements in it.

Say a prayer or chant the following words to your own creative melody:
Come with me. As daylight ends, the sun sinks low. Black night descends, into a world of sleep and dream. Moon and star shine and lamplight steam. Enter now and join the dance, of creeping shadow and midnight trance. This is the dark kingdom, where colors change, streets grow longer, and mystery reigns. Enter now and join the dance.

Tell a story about one of your ancestors. After everybody has told a story, go out with a plate and a piece of cake and a candle to be left out in memory of the dead.

Go through the house and find something physical that you do not need anymore. Then sit and write those emotional and mental things that you do not need anymore in your life. Then go out and throw the physical to the garbage outside. To let go of the emotional and mental garbage, tear the paper and throw it to the wind, and as you do it, visualize those issues leaving your life.

Write down your fears that you wish to transform into strength. After you have written them down, burn the paper, and as you watch the paper being burned, see those fears transforming into the new qualities of strength.

Cut an apple or a pomegranate and for each part say out loud new things that you invite into your life.

End with a silent meditation.

Have a feast made of pumpkins, apples, cauliflower, yams and carrots.

Have Fun with it!

 

 

It’s the end of autumn. You can feel the winter around the corner. It has been just as I wished it to be a wonderful Indian summer that lasted until October. Now the leaves are falling and the colors are fading away. Its time to go in. Time for introspect and dreaming. It’s time to plant the seeds of dreams for the coming year.

I spend this weekend planting bulbs that will flower (hopefully) in spring time. With each bulb that I planted I also sent my wishes and goals for the coming year. I love this period of the year. It has so much power and optimism in it. Just think about it. You lay the bulb in the ground and you send it all your wishes and energy that it would flower in spring time. You have nothing to do with it. You can’t do anything except be patient and trust that Nature will take care of it.

Same goes with our wishes and dreams. There is a time to DO and there is a time to just wait and trust that Nature will take care of our wishes and dreams. That’s part of the Feminine Power and Wisdom. Knowing when to DO and when to be patient and let Grace/Nature/God/Goddess, this infinite wisdom take care of our intentions. All we need to do at that time is to send out a strong intention and hold it in our hearts. 

What are your wishes for the coming year? Take the time and make it clear and send out a strong and powerful intention to make it happen this year. This is the right time to do it.

Enjoy your day!

Spiritual leadership is probably the earliest form of leadership that has existed on this planet. However when we look at the scriptures most spiritual leadership is male. So how can we as women connect to it?  For years I have been struggling with this issue. Actually my first glimpse of Feminine Leadership was due to a full-on debate with one of my teachers.

We were in a workshop which was about self-esteem and he said that self-esteem is the basic foundation to how we judge and value ourselves. I then stood up and said that I have no problem with it as I always knew that I am part of God as I was created in the image of him. He then said to me: “How come you are saying that you are the image of God, you should be saying of the Goddess?� I then responded arrogantly what’s the difference – God, Goddess it’s all the same I am part of the Devine. He then argued if you believe in God then you cannot be in HIS image if you are a woman. The argument went on for more than 45 minutes before he finally let me off by saying the ultimate sentence “have it your way�. I was too righteous and not able to see the truth in what he was saying. When I went home I had to look at myself and check why was it so important for me to prove that I was right. I realized it was because that deep down inside I knew he was right and if he was right I had a serious problem in being part of the Devine. This started my search which brought me to the Feminine Leadership and to the Feminine Spiritual Leadership.

If human beings were created in the form of their creator, and there is only a male God, in whose image are women created? If you live in a culture where there is only a male God and no Goddess, where’s the model for the Feminine? How can girls learn to be women without the Goddess?

In my search I have found a powerful woman Amy Sophia Marashinsky that has expressed my own feelings in her book “The Goddess Oracleâ€? where she writes: “I was raised Jewish in the 50’s, which means I was brought up to believe in all-powerful God who made man in his image. Very validating for men. Feminine images, on the other hand, weren’t so positive. I was taught to believe Eve was responsible for the expulsion from Garden of Eden. Paradise was lost because of a woman, a snake and an apple. I was told all women suffer childbirth because of Eve. And Lilith Adam’s first wife who left him because she would not lie beneath him during sex, was considered a demon and rarely mentioned. This view of women as evil, as a scapegoat, as temptress and seducer was not very validating for me as a young-woman-to-be. So I did what many invalidated girls do. I decided to grow up and be the best man for the job. Who wants to be a scapegoat? Who wants to be held responsible for losing paradise?”

Now, I wasn’t raised in the 50’s but in the 60’s. I wasn’t raised as a religious Jew but as a secular that defies the existence of God. But society conditions were installed in me whether I wanted it or not. And even though I suppressed my female nature so that I could succeed in the world, I still had difficulty swallowing the values that were installed in me and were unconscious, which is - that as a woman I wasn’t created in the image of God.

After my heated argument with my teacher, I have started my search and I have found that prior to the All-Mighty Jehovah God there was a female Goddess, whom all the people in the ancient world revered and honored. As Amy writes: “ I discovered that there was a time when women were respected, when women were judges, lawmakers, officials, priestesses, rulers, landowners – when women had power… At last I had discovered a role model for me as a woman - The Goddess.

It is important for women to reclaim the Goddess – not just one Goddess, but all. The more Goddess we know, the more we can celebrate, honor, and respect the diversity of the Feminine. The Goddesses can become our Feminine Spiritual role model. If we celebrate, honor and respect the diversity of the Goddess, then we can do it for ourselves.  More than that, we can become role models of proud feminine spiritual leaders to our fellow women and most important to our own children. Maybe in this way we will start raising a new generation of girls that will be liberated from the past old conditioning of His-tory.

Each week I will dedicate to a different Goddess. There will be a brief mythology/cultural background about each Goddess and then an interpretation of what does she stand for and what is her message for us. What can we learn from her. Finally there will be a suggestion of how you can work with the energy of that particular Goddess, what can you do to enhance her qualities into your daily life.

Have fun discovering the Goddess within you!

This week is dedicated to one of my favorite Goddesses. It is – Artemis. Her main leadership skill is showing us how to take care of ourselves.

Artemis is a strong protectress, aware of her own power - and not likely to let anyone take it from her.
Even as a small child the Artemis was decisive.  When Zeus asked Artemis what presents she wanted for her third birthday she responded without hesitation that she wanted six things: to be allowed to live without having to be distracted by love and marriage, a bow and arrow just like her brother’s, a hunting costume and freedom from having to dress up like a lady, the job of bringing light into the world, sixty young nymphs to be her companions and to help care for her hunting dogs, and all the mountains on the earth to live on.

Zeus was amused by her precociousness and happily granted the little goddess Artemis her wishes.  Even at this tender age it was clear that Artemis was going to be the most independent of the goddesses, one who thrived on challenges!

Artemis’ association with the natural world, the wilderness, symbolizes her own untamed spirit.  The most independent of the goddesses, she roamed the forests in her role as huntress. Artemis was famous for her hunting skills, for the sharp focus of her attention and her unerring aim.  She was known as a fearless and responsible hunter, willing and able to bring down the most terrifying beasts.

Despite her “wildness” (her refusal to conform to conventional ways or tradition) and her fierce independence, Artemis was depicted as one of the compassionate and healing goddesses.  Of all the Greek goddesses, she was the most self-sufficient, living life on her own terms, comfortable both in solitude and in holding the reins of leadership.

The Greek goddess Artemis gives us courage. She illuminates those places that terrify us and lends us her strength to bring us safely through our fears.

As we can see Artemis has many faces and domains that she affects. However her legacy is mainly about selfhood and taking care of one self.

When Artemis appears in your life it is time to take care of yourself. It is time to focus on your own needs. Have you been too much in service of others without making sure you get what you need for yourself? Has it been too long since you had time for yourself or space of your own? Do the boundaries of your selfhood seem blurred and indistinct? Do you feel you have no right to a self of your own, but must always be thinking of others, putting their needs first, until you don’t know who you are or what you want?

Now is the time to take yourself back and celebrate and strengthen who you are. Artemis says that wholeness is nurtured when you honor, respect and give time to yourself. She also asks how can you expect to hit any targets if you don’t have a self from which to shoot?

This week give yourself the gift of taking back those parts of yours that you have given out to the world.
Take the time to sit in a meditation and look at your body and ask yourself if there are any missing pieces. Open to allow yourself to get a sense, image or a feeling of where those missing pieces are. For example: Did you give your lover your joy piece and now you can’t experience joy without him/her? Did you give your children your sense of fulfillment and now you feel unfulfilled as they grew up? Did you give your job your sense of importance and now without it you can’t experience being proud of yourself and being useful?

Call those pieces home. Let them re-enter your body and, as they do, feel yourself grow stronger and more vital. When you finish you can write down those different pieces and make a blessing to them as they came back home – back to you.

Enjoy your week of selfhood!