Who Are Your Role Models?
What were your role models of women? Who were the women that you admired and wanted to be like?
Role models are a crucial element in our self-esteem and personal growth. Role models allow us to see to what are we striving for.
Growing up I had 4 role models. None of them were real people. Growing up with my nose buried in books rather than looking out to the world, little wonder it is that most of my role models were characters in those books.
When I look at those characters today I am amazed how much influence they had on my life although none of them were even remotely connected to my own time, place and reality. All of those characters were in books that were describing society, values and standards of the end of the 19th century and even earlier in a far away land called USA, which for someone growing in the 60’s in Israel was as far as the moon.
The first one was… please don’t laugh, Pollyanna. Yes, the famous orphan that has transformed a whole town from a dispirited town to a pleasant and healthy place to live in. For me Pollyanna was about being happy no matter what circumstances are. It is about finding the good and the valuable in what is taking place. It’s not about “turning the other cheek� or “burying your head in the ground� and the somewhat derogatory term that it became for a naïve person who always expects people to act decently, despite strong evidence to the contrary.
For me, life today has a meaning and I can endure much more difficult situations to this ability that I have learned from Pollyanna of seeing the good in things and keeping the spirit of forgiveness towards all and finding joy in what comes my way.
The second role model I had was… Jo from “Little Women�. Not surprising to find out that my struggle was not being able to fit in the usual conventional role of women. The other was my tendency to get angry quickly. And last and not least, Jo’s open and direct style of communication.
I have never learned the “fine art� of diplomacy in communication and have always preferred the straight forward, sometimes, “slang� language. For me it stands for a high value of honesty and courage. Daring to be different than what is expected from you. This I owe to Jo.
The third one was…Ann Shirley from “Anne of Green” Yes, another orphan, I wonder what that has to say…Ann taught me most about the value of friendship. Her group of friends was my ideal friendship group. Till today I have those friends that were with me all those years and that we can share funny experiences and mischief of early days.
And last and not least was.. Scarlet O’Hara from “Gone With the Wind”. Scarlett’s character of a woman, who is capable of incredible unforeseen strength when cornered in times of crisis, was for me an example of how to overcome any obstacle. Her practical nature and willingness to step on anyone who doesn’t have her family’s best interests at heart, was despicable and refreshing for me. I could both adore her and despise her. She showed me the importance of being practical and most of all that “Tomorrow is another day”. There is always a second chance in life and that every moment that we live is our second chance to do better.
Looking now at those role models it’s easy for me to see how my life was created, for better and worse, by those examples. Most of all, it strikes me that it is of no small wonder that my relationships with men were problematic and often had the sense of battle more than of relationship. It took me many years to get free from those role models when it came to romantic relationships. None of those characters were a good role model for healthy, loving relationships.
Today have a look who were your role models and what did you learn from them? It would be great to get your comments on it.
Have a great day!
January 20th, 2007 at 3:11 am
Hi Vered,
SCARLET?????? I was amazed that she was a role model to you because to me she was someone with no sole or hart. You have them both!!!
To me it was Vicky from the love boat. She had a father who was there always and she could really talk to him. My father was a real army man and not into that “softy stuff�. So what I did when I was allowed to go out and date, I selected guys who were just like him and than tried to fix them. Yes I tried to change them into men who loved to talk for hours about feelings and thoughts and wanted to hug al the time. And no that doesn’t work. I now know that I wanted to correct my past in my present.
With love
January 20th, 2007 at 9:45 am
Hi Nanida,
Yes, I know that Scarlet seems starnge and that she might look as if without sole or heart. But for me her heart was on her family or more corrcectly to say on the land. Coming from a farmers family that lost their lands I could relate to the fear of losing your land and what you hold valuable.
Her relationship with her father was one that I envied as my father was an intelctual, closed and distant professor that although we knew he loved us, he seamed very cold and distant, while Gerald was warm and connected to Scarlet.
Also, her willing to do ANYTHING in order to save what she thought was important was an aspect that I found admiring. In times I was jealous and angry at myself that I wasn’t willing to go as far as she did.
So yes, you could say that she was a cold hearted bitch, but in my eyes she was devoted and courageous to go for what she thought was right
January 23rd, 2007 at 4:23 am
Hi Vered,
I loved Jo as well! She was my favorite character from Little Woman. I admired her courage and audacity to step out of the bounds of society. Her confidence is something quite uncommon at her time. I felt so proud of her when she cut off her hair to sell for money. A girl’s hair is very precious. To cut it off for a loved one turns it into such a precious gift. I cannot say I’d have the courage to do the same.
I have another fictional role model, also from literature. Anna, from Jodi Picoult’s novel, My Sister’s Keeper, was born to save the life of her sister Kate, who is diagnosed with cancer. Since birth, Anna had to suffe countless surgeries and transfusions in order to keep her sister alive. Her sole purpose in life was to save her sister. I admire her resilience and love for her sister. It must be so hard emotionally to know that your parents only love you for your bone marrow. That may have been harsh but that is essentially how her mother treated her. However, Anne was strong throughout the novel and in the end, died so that her sister may live. She was one the most beautiful characters I have ever read.
January 23rd, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Hi Lucy,
WOW, what a role model you’ve chosen! It’s probably hard to keep up to this model of life, isn’t it? I’m not sure I would be brave enough to take such a role model for my life. It takes a big person to adopt such a role model.
Have a look how conscious you were when you chose that role model, or was it an automatic reaction? if you’re not sure have a look at your life and see if you can find the places where this character influenced your life and the choices that you made?
Have a great day!