Resolutions and Goals
There is a huge difference between setting goals and the way most New-Year resolutions are being set. It seems, that New-Year’s resolutions are made only to be broken two months later.
Just visit your local gym on a Monday night in early January, and you’ll have to fight the crowds who are tackling the equipment with fierce determination. Then, visit the same facility on a Monday night two months later and you’ll have plenty of space complete with your choice of machines. These get-in-shape-lose-ten-kilos-be-disciplined-bla-bla declarations simply have evaporated.
Here are a few common reasons why these resolutions do not stick:
Making the Goal More Important Than the Vision - We tend to put our goals (physical result) before setting our vision (value), which is like putting the cart before the horse. When you are focused on the goal and disregard your vision, even upon the achievement of your goal, you are left with that residual empty feeling of “what was the point anyway”.
Forgetting What is Truly Important - New-Year’s resolutions fail when they are focused on outer cravings rather than respect for your inner wishes. Taking the ten kilos weight loss for example; is it really about fitting into your old jeans? Or is it about honoring your body and yourself? How about the reduced time in front of the TV commitment? Is the goal simply reducing the amount of hours in front of the tube? Or, is it instead, about creating time to spend with your family, breaking the mind abusing TV habit, or learning something new?
Focusing On the Process Rather Than the End Result - We usually focus more on HOW to realize our goal than on the goal itself. If you focus on getting the money in order to buy that Special Something, change your focus to having that Something. This will open many more possibilities than only buying one…
Focusing On What You Haven’t Yet Achieved - We tend to pursue what we haven’t yet achieved rather than asking ourselves: “What is TRULY important for me this year?” By doing that, you are walking towards your future, facing your past. Meaning walking with your back toward your desired direction. In this way, many possibilities available to you are missed, as you limit yourself to what you already know.
Making Complicated and Vague Resolutions - When we are afraid to commit ourselves, we tend to babble some incoherent sentences simply for the sake of making a resolution, rather than seriously intending to manifest something real. Your mind however, needs a specific image of your resolution with which to work towards manifestation. Therefore instead of hoping to “make a lot of money” or “create more free time for myself”, give attention to detail by specifying what exactly you intend to create. Write it down as a precise figure. For example “I make xxx amount of money next year” or “I have xxx hours free for myself per week”.
This year, before you declare your New-Year’s resolutions, create clarity for yourself of what is TRULY important for you. Here are some questions to reflect on:
1. What were the five most important lessons you learned this past year? How can you use these lessons in the coming year?
2. What are you willing to BE this coming year? Not what you want to DO or Have. Are you willing to be more courageous? More loving? More patient? More peaceful?
3. What practices will you integrate into your life next year? And why do they matter? Commit yourself to growing in ways that will honor who you are.
4. What intentions will support your life mission? What do you want to be engaged in that will reinforce your sense of purpose and your core belief system?
5. What can you do next year that will bring more joy and fulfillment into your daily life? How can you acknowledge and celebrate the big and little things that appear every single day?
