Vered’s Blog

It all begins one day, with your birth into the world. Showered with love and affection, you are adored, appreciated and enjoyed…

A low self-esteem simply does not exist. Everything around you, indeed the whole universe, is simply an extension of yourself. Although you were cranky when you were hungry, tired or wet, you made no negative judgments about yourself the way adolescents and adults do. You never cried about self-doubt, self-hate, or wanting to be popular.

As an infant, you still hold the idea that you’re the center of the universe. When you enter the shopping mall - you don’t just want a toy - you want the toy store.

And then… 20-30-40 years later (after a few ‘failures’ and many statements such as “You can’t always get what you want…” or “You’ve been bad this morning, so you can’t have it now…” or “If you’ll behave yourself, tomorrow you can have one…”) … you visit someone for the first time.
They ask you a simple question: “would you like tea or coffee?”
And you answer: “oh, it doesn’t matter” or “what’s easier for you” or “no thanks, I’ve had coffee in the morning…”

What a long way down the hill, from the once high-point of a healthy self-esteem…

As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

The building of a high self-esteem is a continuing process, not something that can be developed overnight.
From my experience of working with thousands of people, every person has the capacity for a high self-esteem.

The only question is, are you ready to make the commitment necessary to increase your self-esteem?

If your answer is yes, here are some steps you can take:

STEP 1
——
Stop comparing yourself with others.
There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less.
You are unique and your purpose is to express your uniqueness. Who can do that better than you?

STEP 2
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Stop diminishing yourself with negative judgments.
You can’t develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities.

STEP 3
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Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

STEP 4
——
Surround yourself with positive, supportive people.
When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you down, your self-esteem is diminished.

STEP 5
——
Acknowledge yourself.
Get yourself a beautiful booklet, and write in it every night, before going to sleep, 20 things you did well during the day. Big or small, doesn’t matter, as long as you allow yourself to feel acknowledged.

STEP 6
——
Give more of yourself to those around you.
When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and subsequently begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem.