Vered’s Blog

A few years ago, Nisandeh (my partner) started a pilgrimage blog when he was walking 860 km walk down a footpath in Northern Spain – the pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella.

I used to love reading his thoughts, descriptions and remarks about life as he was walking that journey. But most of all I loved that he showed me another way of using an old technique, that I’ve been using for years, in a modern way - journaling in a modern world - the blog.

For me, someone that technology is not always friendly to, writing a blog looked like a very technical, complicated thing. Journaling on the other hand, was a daily habit I adopted years ago. I would start my day by writing 3 pages of all the thoughts that were bothering me, or running in my head. It was a way of starting the day clean, without those chattering voices in my head. I will leave my thoughts on the empty pages of my journal and become focused and with much more awareness. It allowed me to see patterns of thoughts that were coming up and change them. It became a morning ritual that allowed me to start the day happy, balanced, energetic and centered.

Now being introduced to a blog makes it much more fun. Not only I can air-out some of my thoughts but also I can get remarks from you all and we can share ideas, dreams, hopes and create a community of people who share the same vision.

My hope is that this blog will become a platform for us to ventilate ideas, ask questions, share insights, recommend motivational readings, tell some jokes, inspire and… get inspired… as you are more than welcome to contribute your part…
Any motivational, inspirational or empowering message is welcome…

So, I’m going to share with you some of my mornings thoughts, ideas, dreams, fears… basically… LIFE… and you are welcome to add your comments, ideas, thoughts questions and whatever.

Well, that’s enough for today, let’s start the day!.

Have a great day!

It’s the last day of August. This summer has been a strange summer. July was so hot it felt as if I’m back in Israel experiencing Mediterranean summer. August was so wet and rainy I could swear it was winter. My dream is that September will be a long “Indian Summer”, with mild tempertures, beautiful long sunny days of watching the world turn into a symphony of colors of red, yellow, orange and brown colors.

 

 

I know that it’s a “small” dream, but our lives are full of small dreams. Although we keep talking about going for that one BIG dream we have, life is actually made out of those “small” magic moments when we achieve those “small” dreams. It’s those dreams that make us get up in the morning and go on with our life even when things are tough and uneasy. It’s those “small” dreams that keep us moving and going even when we think we cannot do anything more.

I’m a great believer in having big dreams and going for them. I believe that once you have that big dream it creates a direction to walk, gives us focus and allows us to fulfill our potential and probably our life’s purpose.

However, when it comes to running my daily life I make sure that I start my day with focusing on those “small” dreams. It’s the fuel that keeps the engine running.

As I said my dream for today is that as of tomorrow I’ll wake up to days of blue sky, warm tempertures, slight breeze in the air in the afternoon and glorious sunsets. It’s a dream that allows me to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face, with anticipation for a new day full of magic. It’s a dream that energizes me!

What is your “small” dream?

These dreams can be anything. It can be changing your car, going to a fine restaurant, having a day off by yourself (or with friends), or just taking a rest in the middle of the day for 2 hours!. Whatever it is, it needs to fill you up with energy as you think about it. You need to feel excited for the thought about it and most of all… You need to feel happy with it.

Well, that’s it for today, let’s start the day!.

Have a great day!

It’s the 1st of September - and I’m not starting school! Wow… that was so many years ago but still somehow in my body when the calendar turns to 1st of September my body feels like jumping out of bed and going to school.

In my family, growing up with both parents as teachers, 1st of September was always sign of beginning of the year. It is funny how our mind and body is programmed to those insignificant nuances of meanings. It didn’t matter that there were other formal, agreed upon dates that were celberated as New-Year, for me in my mind and body 1st of September was always the time for new beginnings.

It was on that date that I made my New-Year’s resolutions (not that I knew at that age that this is how it’s called), that’s when I promised myself that this year I will do all my homework on time, that I will keep my notebooks clean and tidy, that I will not lose any of my precious things or that I will make new friends and keep the old ones happy. All those promises we make that within 6 weeks you forget them or find out that you are back in your old pattern of life.

I wonder what it is that makes those dates so fixed in our mind and body. Today as I was lying in bed I saw myself making new promises to myself again. It was as if this old habit of making promises on the 1st of September is part of my body. I realized that the body remembers everything. Your mind might forget things (and it’s good that it does), but the body’s memory is much stronger. That’s why once we’ve learned how to ride a bike we never forget it. Even if we did not ride a bike for years, once we get on it we’ll know how to ride it. Our body does not forget.

Women are so special and fortunate in this. By nature we are more connected to our body. Nature made sure that we will be connected to our body, because Mother Nature (who is also a woman) knew that the wisdom of the body will last longet than our thinking mind. As women we need to rejoice on the fact that we can connect to our body easily. We need to honor our body and thank it for giving us this wisdom that will not be forgotten. Things that we have learned through our body will forever be remembered.

Therefore it is so sad for me to see those women who despise their body, women that neglect it and make efforts to avoid and forget that they have a body. By doing so these women are avoiding their own power. And if there is one thing that makes me sad it is to see people ignoring and forgetting how powerful they are.

Marianne Williamson said: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

On this 1st of September, which for me will always stand for new beginnings I ask you: Who are you not to be powerful? - I ask you - what can be your new beginning for today? What can you start doing today? Remember every second that you breathe is your second chance to start something new!

What can you start new today?

Enough for today, let’s start the day!

Have a magical day!

I had to wake up early today (actually very early), as I had to take Thom to a performance that she had from her Dance School. This meant waking at an ungodly hour of 07:00 on a Saturday morning.

While we were driving, a funny thing was happenning on the road. The way that usually takes 20 minutes, took not more than 10 minutes. There were no cars on the road and all the traffic lights were green! Go figure that out…

Coming back home I had to make a decison, going back to bed or going on with my Saturday plans - shopping, organizing the mess in the house that accumulated during the week, answering those not-so-urgent emails. But as I was going through that long-long list I realised… Hay! What about MY day-off? Even God(dess) had a day off on Saturday, how come I don’t give myself that break?

Once that question raised it’s head - I knew what my answer is  and the next step was clear. I had clarity. I marched straight back to bed with a good book and a strong cup of tea - my favorite Saturday activity!

We all deserve a break. In order to keep on performing good, great and amazing, we all have to take a break sometime. In order to live a balanced life we need between all the SHOULD and MUST things that we HAVE to DO, we need also to plan some time-out. This is when we need to know what gives us energy, what energizes us and allows us to continue going on with our busy and hectic life.

Balanced life is a matter of knowing how to do the things that you love with the things that you HAVE to do or MUST do or even just LIKE  to do. In between those you need to take some time out to do the things that you LOVE. Read more about Balanced life in this article

So, what’s your favorite Saturday activity?

Once you have it - go ahead and just do it!

Have a great day!

 

I took Thom today to school, finally the year has started. However, today was different. She was eager to run to school. When it happened yesterday I thought it was the first day of school and probably she is eager to see who else is in her new class.
But today it felt different. I asked her if she doesn’t want me to come in with her. Her respond was vague and funny. She said: “No, mom you have so much to do today; you need to go on with your day. It’s OK I can go in”. I felt that there was more to it than just “caring for mom’s heavy load of work…â€? So I asked her what it’s all about. What came out was something that I was dreading for a long time.

My daughter came to the age where she is ashamed of being seen together with her own mother. Her mother looks old! It’s not that other people would agree on it, but for my 9-year old kid I look old and that makes the difference.

It isn’t that I didn’t know that this day will come. I remember myself being ashamed seen with my mom. But that was from different reasons. My mom was loud and behaved “bad” in my opinion (in those days). On the other hand I was quite proud of her as she looked younger than all the other moms.

Younger or older it’s the same old issue. When did being young become so important? Obviously, this is an easy question. In a society that idolizes beauty and that a face without wrinkles is a “face that launches 1,000 ships” being young is considered beauty.

We live in a culture that 30 is old. Women that are 30 are already looking at their lives and thinking it’s over because the first signs of wrinkles are appearing on their face. Wrinkles became a sign of being redundant.

However, there were times that wrinkles were the sign of coming into the age of wisdom. It was a sign of coming into power and making a difference in society. In the old traditions women that have passed the age of giving birth were regarded as the wise ones. They were the ones that ran and managed the social structure of the tribe and of society. They were the social leaders. Men were still the leaders of the group, but women were the ones to turn to in issues of conflict and trouble. They were the medicine women and the healers. They were the midwives and the educators. And it was the older women and not the younger ones. Power was evaluated by your ability to contribute to society and not by your good looks.

Once the world has changed and values have changed, women have lost their own power. Beauty became source of power instead of wisdom. Once beauty replaces wisdom it’s only a matter of time that as women we will lose our power. Beauty is one of the most temporary elements there are in this universe. Beauty not only depends on “the eye of the beholderâ€?, which means that it is subject to fashions and trends, which will always be temporary, but also it is connected to age which means that it will pass away very quickly. Even if Mother Nature was kind enough to you and have given you the perfect figure and the perfect face (for your time and space) that will pass away as autumn follows summer and your good looks and good figure will change with time. Therefore we see this impossible search for the “Youth fountainâ€? and endless developments in “face-liftsâ€? and Botox. Once we put our power in the hands of beauty – we actually lose it.

Maybe it’s time to come back to our own power which is – wisdom. Wisdom develops with time. Wisdom comes with the years. It’s time to honor those wrinkles and gray hair and realize that they are our own source of power.
 

I got a lot of responds on my last entry (Beauty or Wisdom). The funny thing was that most responds were about how did I feel when Thom told me that she is ashamed of me? The truth was that I was proud that she was willing to be honest with me and tell it to me.

I don’t remember ever telling my own mom that I’m ashamed or embarrassed of her. I was proud of my daughter being able to be aware of it and still be able to communicate it.

What is it about mothers and daughters that makes this tie so tight? 
Would love to hear your opinions.  

Yesterday we had an event that was a huge success, but at the end of it I found myself focusing on all the things that did not go right. I was focusing on what went wrong, and how to correct it for next time. Not that this was a wrong thing, but it was in the wrong time to do it, which resulted in the fact that I couldn’t celebrate my own success.

They say ‘life is not a dress rehearsal’, but very few people actually live by it. The truth is undeniable: the lives of those who actually embrace the concept ARE enriched. So, what does this mean? All forms of adventure—inner and outer, create space for enhanced joy. It’s all a matter of degree. Adventure covers a broad spectrum … everything from dabbling with minor introspection to attaining personal mastery. EXPERIENCE is where the rubber meets the road.

Reaching beyond your comfort zone calls forth courage and perseverance and confronts your sense of safety and security. Being ‘comfortable’, leads to apathy. Living in the spirit of adventure means you take risks. Nothing worthwhile has ever been accomplished without taking risks. That goes for ALL ventures; business, personal or relationships.

Even physical adventures foster the spirit. For example, the challenge of climbing Mount Everest not only pushes the body to extremes, but also expands the mind and emotions. Ask any Olympic athlete, and they’ll agree that both disciplined mental and physical conditioning will predict who reaps the gold medal.

Actually, you can approach your entire life as one continuous journey into adventure. The essence of life is meant to be joyous, and adventure evokes joy. Of course, life will always present us with less than desirable circumstances. However, facing any personal challenge such as loss, financial difficulties, health issues or relationship struggles with an attitude of adventure, will allow you to move through painful events with greater ease. Resistance to ‘what is’ creates an energy drag, magnifying the problem. Acceptance expedites movement.

Today I was faced by one of these challenges. It wasn’t as heroic as climbing the Everest, but not less meaningful. It also presented a wonderful example on the difference between Female energy and Male energy. The spirit of adventure naturally follows the Male energy as it is about going forward, outward conquering something. However there is another form of adventure, which is less heroic, more modest and still as challenging and rewarding as the going forward of the Male energy. It is the form of adventure of going inward. The willing to be honest with one self, admitting to things that need to be changed and commitment to do so. It demands courage and flexibility of the mind. It demands openness to new things and the self-love and acceptance of who you are. Feminine energy is about going inward. It is about energy of acceptance and going deeper.

When I do not celebrate my successes, I do not acknowledge myself and my efforts, which lowers down my energy and does not allow me to fulfill my potential. It comes down to not nurturing myself. Nurturing is another value that has the quality of Feminine energy. I realized that I was not willing to nurture myself and celebrate my successes. I was too focused on the next step and the next challenge, which is a very Male energy attitude.

It was painful to see it and admit that I wasn’t true to my own values and principles. Being out of integrity to one self is probably the most painful thing there is. But then I had the insight that the greatest adventure we have is actually not about conquering the outward world, but it is the inward world of values and patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that is the most challenging to conquer. It is the joy of discovering your true being and your true values that bring most joy to one self. That is the essence of adventure when coming from the Feminine energy direction. It is about a shift that takes place inward. Transformation that happens in your body due to a change in your perspective and shedding off a few more layers of veils that covers your eyes from seeing the truth.

That’s enough for today… I’m off to celebrate my success now!

Have a magical day!
 

Feminine Leadership is the name of my program. But it’s not only about a program. It’s about a concept that I would love to see spreading in this world. It’s not about women but about a way of living that can replace the existing one.

Feminine Leadership is about bringing harmony and balance into this world. Too long we have been living by values that glorify the concept of “more is better”, of running to the next challenge instead of living by values of nurturing, harmonizing, balance and living in equilibrium with our surrounding. To make that shift women are the key for it.

In order for this to happen women need to come into their power.

The question is what is Feminine Power? Is it the same thing for all women? Is it the same for all women all over this planet? My answer is – No.

Each of us needs to find what it is that she needs to overcome in order to come into her own power. It all depends on your conditions and your cultural background. Have a look what stops you from coming into your own power?

For some it can be that they were not allowed to speak up and express their ideas and talents. For others it could be that they had to suppress their natural feminine talents and strengths and learn how to act like man and have lost their connection to their body and femininity.

Whatever it is, it’s time to come into your Feminine Power. It’s time for Feminine Leadership for this planet.

To see more about investing in the Power of Women Leaders check our Empowerment Videos section.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of interviewing one of my favorite leaders. It was Brandon Bays from The Journey.

Brandon Bays had an interesting point on what true leadership is and on several different leadership styles. She mentioned that what true leadership does is bringing out the potential of people and allowing them to blossom and fulfill that potential. While other leadership styles are more about directing and pushing people into action. You can hear more about leadership styles here

For me that was a wonderful example and demonstration of the difference between what I call Male energy leadership style and Female energy leadership style. We can find those characteristics everywhere. In business, politics, organized religions, social organizations and even families.

If you take a break for a moment from the rat race you’ll notice that today, humanity has arrived at saturation point.
The price we pay is everywhere to be seen. Wars and conflict dot the globe, huge economic and social differences exist between the West and the impoverished third world. The wealthy abide in magnificent mansions in every metropolis, whilst thousands exist without homes. Workaholism, and a frightening incidence of suicides, scar our nations.

Which leads naturally to the question, is there any other way?
I believe there is. I call it, the Female Energy leadership style approach.

Instead of competition as a means to success, using cooperation;
Instead of a ‘me first, fuck you’, an approach of service and win-win solutions;
Instead of criticism, the use of acknowledgements;
Instead of indulgence - preservation; and so on…

As the number of choices in our life grows, we are seeking for a balance in our lives between our inner and outer worlds; between the demands of our jobs and those of our families; between our focus on material affluence and our quest for spiritual meaning; between our preoccupation with our individual dilemmas and our awareness of the challenges facing society at large.

So how can we create this balance?
It starts with bringing Female Energy leadership style into our lives. Female and Male energy has nothing to do with gender! It has to do with the values you chose to guide you in your life. It has to do with the choices that you take and priorities that you put on things.

My question is: what are you going to choose?

Have a great day!

In the last two weeks people kept asking me: “Why did you stop writing in your blog?”. My answer was that I couldn’t find the time to do it. The respond to it was: “But you are such a great organizer and time management is one of your strong points”. It’s true; however sometimes there is a difference between good management and good leadership.

Good leadership needs to be able to see what is needed at the moment from a bigger picture of vision and life. Management needs to be able to handle things as they come in the best and most efficient and effective way. However there are times when those things do not go together.

The last few weeks we have experienced delays, things that were not going as planned, unforeseen events that disturbed our routine and planning. In such times we need to choose between good management which will find solutions and alternatives to things and keep pressing to get results and meet deadlines. Or realize that there might be a message in all that and take a step back to look at things and evaluate what is needed.

I chose to take a step back, surrender to what is taking place and look for the message between all the events that were taking place. In such a space it is good to be more focused inward than outward. That is one of the qualities of Feminine Leadership. Therefore I was not communicating much with the outside world beyond what was necessary. It gave me a better understanding of what is taking place and what should be our next step.

Take a look at your life and check if you are managing your life or are you becoming a leader of your life?